A thought-provoking take on male friendship, by Bob Hussey
Did you catch A. N. Wilson’s insightful article on male friendships in The Times earlier this year? His reflections really got me thinking about friendship’s unique meaning within the Catenian Association.
The inspiring friendship of Kevin Sinfield and Rob Burrow
Under the title “No Bond is More Precious Than Male Friendship,” Wilson recounts the inspiring relationship between Rugby League legend Kevin Sinfield and his late friend Rob Burrow. After Burrow was diagnosed with motor neuron disease (MND), Sinfield dedicated himself to raising millions for MND research. In a remarkable show of solidarity, Sinfield famously pushed Burrow in a wheelchair during the Leeds marathon, only to lift him from the chair and carry him across the finish line together. Their story underscores the power of friendship in the most challenging circumstances.
The need to teach young men about friendship
Sinfield’s book, With You Every Step, aims to remind young men of the value of close male friendships, addressing the difficulty many men face in forming such bonds. A 2019 YouGov poll revealed that one in five UK men has no close friends, highlighting a troubling trend of male loneliness.
Male loneliness and mental health concerns
Wilson also draws attention to a larger issue: a significant percentage of men in the UK report feelings of loneliness, often with adverse mental health effects. Research shows that men who frequently experience loneliness are over twice as likely to suffer from depression compared to those with strong friendships.
Why society needs spaces for male friendships
Wilson argues that all-male spaces are essential, yet today, clubs and associations where men can connect are often viewed with suspicion. In earlier generations, men gathered in gentlemen’s clubs, sporting events, and other all-male settings to form bonds and engage in conversation freely. Today, these spaces are often criticised as exclusive or outdated, but they historically played a critical role in fostering male friendships outside of romantic partnerships.
Male friendships offer a unique form of connection
Wilson makes clear that male friendships are not “better” than friendships with women but are different and necessary.
Men, too, need spaces to cultivate honest, supportive relationships, away from societal pressures or expectations.
Think of famous pairs like Dr. Johnson and Dr. Boswell, or Holmes and Watson; their friendships highlight a special connection that can be hard to find elsewhere.
My personal journey with male friendship
I recently had to give the eulogy at the funeral of a very long-term friend of mine. In it I considered the notion of male friendship. To this day I am not sure how or why he and I became such good friends, but my late friend instinctively knew that he could always count on me – that I would always be there for him. And I knew that he would always be there for me. It wasn’t said – but it was understood.
And I reflected that that is what being a Catenian is really all about – simple, uncomplicated, friendship.
Recently, whilst I was driving the long journey home from a monthly meeting of my “circle of friends”, I reflected just why I bothered to make the (considerable) effort and why the evening had been such fun? Why this disparate group of people were such good, enduring and amusing company? Why we got on together so well? We came from all walks of life, from all social strata, and from all shades of opinion or the political spectrum.
I reflected just why I bothered to make the (considerable) effort and why the evening had been such fun? Why this disparate group of people were such good, enduring and amusing company? Why we got on together so well?
On paper we had little in common. If I hadn’t been a Catenian I would certainly never have met them. And yet – I’ve known some of them now for almost 40 years, and we’re still friends – we still laugh at each other’s (silly) jokes, (despite the fact that we’ve heard them many times before), and frequently – satisfyingly – still “put the world to rights”!
If only life were so simple ….
The Catenian Circle: A community of enduring friendships
During that long drive home, I realised just how much my friendships within the circle mean to me. Although our group consists of men from all walks of life, In today’s individualistic world, friendships like those I’ve found with my fellow Catenians are rare and invaluable. Trusted friends who understand us and offer support are critical to navigating life’s challenges. The Catenian Association has blessed me with friends who provide wisdom, loyalty, and honest advice – a testament to the Catenian spirit.
Join the Catenian community and discover lasting friendship
If you’re seeking deep, meaningful friendships, consider joining the Catenian Association.
The joy of true friendship is something we all deserve, and it’s a bond that has made my life profoundly richer.
With Faith and Friendship,
Bob
Bob Hussey is a valued member of the Cirencester, South Cotswolds Catenian Circle, celebrated for his friendly nature, sense of humour, and steadfast commitment to the Catenian principles of friendship and support. Bob contributes both experience and enthusiasm to the Circle. He is well-known for his dedication to fostering connections within the community and supporting fellow members.
